by Gary Astleford
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[Mockery's Note: My god, what have I wrought? We've been tossing these items around as a sort of sick joke for most of our Cyberpunk career. We never actually used them, but they cropped up every time somebody thought about buying a Mr. Studd implant. One demented evening, while working on some other cybernetics for the page, I said, "Hey, Gary, why don't you write up the Penile Spike?" Well, he did. Here it is, along with some other seriously sick stuff. You Have Been Warned.]

Penile Mono-Spike  (600eb)

"'s disturbing to think that anyone would get something like this voluntarily..."

This is a curved monosectional crystal spike that is implanted in the abdominal region. It is designed to extend from an erect penis through the urethra, which is specially modified to prevent injury to the user. The spike causes 2D6 damage. Usually, though not always, the spike extension aparatus is wired into the nervous system to activate at the moment of orgasm. Needless to say, this is a piece of black market cyberware, and is not available in your average on-the-mall clinic. Normally only usable in male subjects or specially modified females (in which case it is called the "Urethral Spike"). HC = 4d6, Surgery Code = MA, ID Code = PMS

Testicular Poison Sac  (450eb)

"Well, at least you know she won't get pregnant."

In the case of this little bit of dementia, one of the subject's testicles is removed and replaced with a poison sac. The sac does not produce the poison, so it must be refilled with a specially designed applicator. There is enough poison for three uses. The sac can be blocked off by pinching shut a valve above the false testicle if normal conjugal relations are preferred, or if medical testing is required. The poison is introduced into the victim via any number of sexual techniques, and causes an immediate shut-down of the nervous system (5D6 neurotoxin damage). Toxin-binding nanoids tailored specifically to the poison are often employed in conjunction with this implant. Perfect for the seductive assassin. Need we add that this is a piece of black market cyberware? We didn't think so. HC = 2D6+2, Surgery Code = M, ID Code = TPS

Vaginal Guillotine  (aka "Bobbitt's Bane")  (500eb)

"There must be eight or nine leper dicks in there! LEPER WHORE!!!"

Installed near the vaginal opening, this implanted "weapon" is designed to incapacitate a sexual partner (willing or unwilling) by severing his penis during coitus. It comes in two basic varieties, the "bear trap" and the "sphincter seal". The bear trap looks and functions very much like its namesake, and cuts from the respective top and bottom. The sphincter seal, however, is a circular blade which closes around the invading member, severing it from all angles. Damage from either of the devices is enough to sever a finger or penis, causing an automatic 4 points of damage and (in the case of a severed penis) causing a stun/shock save at -5. The device must be removed if the subject wishes to give birth. Black market cyberware, for sure. HC = 3d6+2, Surgery Code = MA, ID Code = VAG

Intestinal Gas Canister  (350eb)

"Man! What have you been eating?!"

Installed in the lower part of the large intestine, this little doozy holds two doses of gas. The user need only release the gas and feign flatulence. This gas can range from harmless (ie, sleeping gas) to deadly (nerve gas). Of course, the user is not immune to the effects of breathing the gas himself, so either a gas mask or nasal filters are recommended. HC = 2d6, Surgery Code = M, ID Code = FART

Nanoid Birth Control  (300eb/treatment)

"Why use uncomfortable condoms, messy foams, or dangerous pills? Get the SPERMINATOR!"

Nanotech at its finest! These remarkable micro-machines form the ultimate barrier of protection against unwanted pregnancy. The ever-vigilant nanoids prevent sperm from entering the cervix by chopping off their tails. With no way to swim, the unfortunate sperm meet their untimely demise. Game Notes : This form of birth control is designed for use by female patients. Lab reports show that the nanoids rarely last longer than one monthly cycle, and a new treatment must be administered approximately once every 28 days. HC = .5 pt. Surgery Code = N ID Code = NBC

[Mockery's Note: Whether this last item is a "cyberweapon" depends entirely on whether you're a sperm. However, I didn't have anywhere else to put it.] What's New Guns and Weapons Gear and Equipment Cybernetics and Implants House Rules Netrunning and Net Gear A Day in the Life Recommended Dosages Names and Faces The Man Cyberpunk Sites Wheels and Otherwise Copyright and Legal Statements Out on the Town